Last night's drama...

hi buddies ...........and well i wanted to tell u that i am totally like feeling stupid about myself cos i cry for everything.....and i made my mom to feel worried about me  by opening up my feelings yesterday  night ,when i was watching Billboard awards......i asked my mom how  she'd react to me becoming a singer....i asked her because that day i checked about  everything i can do to become a singer in net........

i knew that a common girl (indian)like me or any other girl could not become a singer just like that so i went in search of online recording software and eventually ended up coming across some recording studio ,that off course like any other studio or producers, was on fee i had to pay about 30 thousand rupees to get my song played (u know i write songs,right?) so i could not bear that everything comes by money and that i am born in india being denied access to singing  contests like "American idol "or "X factor" 

so ...what i am coming to day is that i go mad at times and cry and  stuffs like that.....i feel some sorta pain whenever i think about the guitar of mine that i bought,that i probably think i shouldn't have bought,..but my mom makes everything go right when i talk to her...........but i cry and i hate that moment when i cry in front of her....it's just the feeling that makes me feel uncomfortable to accept the truth.........i can do anything, but there is a limit...........

i think the  king stays a king while the commoners stay commoners..... ,i guess, even if i get a chance i think i am not worth it cos i don't know english all that well...........so i 'll keep pursuing my hobby (song writing) dream of becoming a doc and will become on .....and try to control my dissapointment when i watch or listen to songs of english singers.........but i have an idea that my mom also thought about..when i grow big and become a doc i can go to america and then pursue my childhood wish (i hopefully wish i don't forget  how to sing then....and don't loose my voice....)

but still i'd like to tell y'all that u guys r being lucky to be born anywhere but india......i mean america,australia, UK..........wales and countries like that.............but in a way my mom says we r lucky to be born here cos there isn't much of drug selling, bomb blast,tornado strikes or anything here.........but still i don't feel convinced........i think the mothers who read this would feel good that they don't have a stupid girl like me as their daughter..............! but i still wonder how my mother likes me after all i've put her through............