Posts

Life is a cycle

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It has been five months and 5 days since I started living in Chennai. I moved from home because I wanted to know what it is like to live on my own and by that I mean, earn a living and live away from things and people that give me comfort and tie me down to the insanity of life, I mean who's to say what is sanity and insanity? Moving on. My previous blog post was about how I left my first job and that was the last of me publishing my thoughts out here. I came back and drafted another post but did not publish it as it wasn't something that the general audience, if any, would not gain anything out of...except for my own life's story up until then from the past, previous months. I always come back, write, and then wonder about whether or not publishing all my thoughts and feelings is a safe choice. But lately, I have realised I might need to give journaling a chance. I used to think journaling or making a to-do list or even, writing thought down would make me vulnerabl…

History repeats itself

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The quiet is what I seek. The quiet is where I want to be. The quiet is all I want. I hope time stops, I hope things don't move, I hope that better things don't happen because where there is hope for the better, there is also a chance for massive letdowns. Where there is a present, there once was a tingling future, in retro colours, not the kind that is static, not the kind that is black and white, in vivid retro colours, with old rock music on, in poignant static blue. Where there is a present, there is an apprehensive future, the kind that brings nightmares, the kind that suffocates you, where gravity weighs heavy on your chest, where the dreamers so to build up nasty hopes that let them die. Where there is a future, the daring rejoice, the daring hope, in their hope they survive, in their dreams they thrive. Where there is a history, the pain only seems to fade, never reducing an inch in your mind's measure. Where there is history, the roses bloom and wilt, the sn…

blog

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Feelings are strange things. Emotions are even stranger. One can only feel so much. If I could break my walls down every time I feel utterly all kinds of depressed or anxious, I would not even be antimatter. Feelings are pretty, they are beautiful and then they are agonizing. Feeling a myriad of things, all at the same time is more of a torturous stunt that my mind plays on my heart sometimes. I am not socially awkward, I am no longer a crippling introvert, yet its the feeling of meeting new people and sharing my past is where I start feeling like I may be making my old mistakes. Finding love amongst and from  these strange people, willingly blocking all the love I receive from the ones ready to offer me, finding myself lost in this new city, loving the loneliness, this music of my life, loving and hating the choices  I am making, numb about the career choices I am making now. am I even making any? sometimes thinking maybe I should not have come this far, how could I make it …

Where did Blogger go?

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I have been away from Blogger for a year now - life outside of the internet happened while I was away. I had to write that last blog post "Women Unstoppable" and got on with everything that college handed me with and as that was my last academic year in an engineering institution I thought  I should give it a little more of my attention. I started studying for semester exams, got myself engaged in photography a bit more than I thought I could, cleared my backlogs, attended an interview for content writer role on one of my study holidays, completed my exams, did not miss my friends, went back home, decided to take the job, moved to Chennai, opened a WordPress account because I thought blogger broke which I realized today that if I sat with it for a while I would figure out a way to realize that there were some changes made to blogger and  to some Google products while I was gone, met a few friends and family here, on a notice period because I resigned the job yesterday, yes …

Women Unstopabble

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I read a news clipping today from the New York Mirror, 1950  voicing men who support that women need to be spanked when needed and Teddy Gallei says

"It teaches them who's boss."

 Really? Did some higher power tell you that you are the boss. That higher power also told you that man is the "boss" of every hecking thing in the known universe, leaving aside the fact that not women, not men, not space dogs have the slightest clue what the universe really is, right Teddy? CONTEMPTIBLE.

 I am infuriated that there is such a thing called women empowerment. I mean when did women even need to ask for this? Were they always not empowered just like men did? Oh I know the answer to this, No they were not because apparently, men had gotten their hands onto the bossy rule of pronouncing every move that women had to make in the "man's world". And along the hands of time, women too were susceptible to this practice and, voila, the days turned into " I am…

Career?

I sometimes feel like academia is not for me.I dont know since when i have started feeling this way, who triggered these thougths in me or worse who is responsible for the way i feel about studies these days, wait I guess i do .It's me. Ever since i was around 13 years of age I have had this obsession for beautiful-looking things.I'd collect pictures that drew my eyes -photographs from magazines, chiefly Readers Digest and daily newspapers. I have always liked the idea of scrapbooking and anything captured by a camera.
                 I have no idea how i would be able to make a career out of photography with parents like mine who only emphasize on my deriving happiness and career out of general academics like most parents do. Its just that its pathetic that I am not strong enough to pick one of my many hobbies that i have inculcated over the years as my potential career and work towards it.                  Why is it that I cant be everything I wanna be? Why…

Brain

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The human brain works up to 10 minutes after death. So, what exactly goes on during those ten minutes? I don't know, maybe this...                            The brain is the computer of your body. Imagine it to realize that it does not get to work anymore and it gets on with doing all the final processes of saving in your memory all that happened that day, the day of your death. Neurons are still firing up like crazy at this point, the doomsday timer is ticking and the computer probably has 9 minutes left.                            I guess it's still saving memories hoping you will come back, somehow.                            Anyways, now it goes over everything that's been saved till date; yourdifferent moods, feelings, memories, hurt, happy times, sad times, good times, bad times, knowledge, the information you made sure to cram in school, your brilliant dreams about going to outer space, your evil plans for the people who are surely but definitely screwing up the E…