Sunday Musings // Feeling like Myself
Acceptance is a cruel word
Acceptance in this cruel world
Life gives what it wants to
Life gets back what it gives
... such is life
The above is a tiny something ( a poem of sorts, if you would, thank you ) that I haven't finished up. Maybe it's nicer being this short. Maybe I've just forked out of my thought train.
Coming to the blog post...
It is Sunday today, a decent enough cold December. I am doing all the things I used to do when I was back in my college hostel room - on my laptop all day, nonchalantly occupied with doing things like visiting my Facebook account that I had forgotten about, visiting Flipboard on a big screen and genuinely missing the experience of opening ten tabs within a minute because I can not resist the temptation of reading different topics all at once, watched a movie and paused half-way and went to bed when I liked, received minimal texts.... when compared with the number of text messages I'd receive and send over the course of my first year in college anyway, felt at my creative best after a long time and actually posted a long caption with a picture on my Instagram, something I used to do almost 7 or eight months ago, when I was still in college, finishing up what turned out to be my very last semester exams. I should say that life after college is not all that bad as I had feared but at the same time not as smooth so I can just skate stress-free into my 30s too. Man, just thinking about growing old to be a thirty-something with my dreams still building up, with a dream house in the making or a travel plan brewing up in the back of my head makes me happy and frantic at the same time, frantic about the fact that I am slowly running out of time...... okay...cruising through time. At least, I will have lesser regrets than most people because I am now doing what I consider my passion.....one of my passions, which most people don't quite seem to end up doing. I am glad that I took no time to think twice about committing to a job that has lead me to a better job in the same field but this whole process also has given me a path to finding my wants, needs and lead me to discover things I might not have been open to exploring... or maybe I still would have been. For a while, I have been feeling disconnected from myself, creatively and in a personal sense too, but today, today was a good day.
I just want to tell the old me that I love her and that I appreciate having made decisions that she did make.
Meg, you were a great kid, you are a good kid now too. Do not lose yourself to change, well, change that is superficial. Let the new adventures change you for the better, after all, when people say 'change', it only means to me that a person has only accumulated new experiences while his/her old self remains inside and nothing can change that, they can't really lose that part of themselves.
You are a bundle of layers. Layers of your past, present and canvas to be painted with a glorious future that is on its way.
Acceptance in this cruel world
Life gives what it wants to
Life gets back what it gives
... such is life
The above is a tiny something ( a poem of sorts, if you would, thank you ) that I haven't finished up. Maybe it's nicer being this short. Maybe I've just forked out of my thought train.
Coming to the blog post...
It is Sunday today, a decent enough cold December. I am doing all the things I used to do when I was back in my college hostel room - on my laptop all day, nonchalantly occupied with doing things like visiting my Facebook account that I had forgotten about, visiting Flipboard on a big screen and genuinely missing the experience of opening ten tabs within a minute because I can not resist the temptation of reading different topics all at once, watched a movie and paused half-way and went to bed when I liked, received minimal texts.... when compared with the number of text messages I'd receive and send over the course of my first year in college anyway, felt at my creative best after a long time and actually posted a long caption with a picture on my Instagram, something I used to do almost 7 or eight months ago, when I was still in college, finishing up what turned out to be my very last semester exams. I should say that life after college is not all that bad as I had feared but at the same time not as smooth so I can just skate stress-free into my 30s too. Man, just thinking about growing old to be a thirty-something with my dreams still building up, with a dream house in the making or a travel plan brewing up in the back of my head makes me happy and frantic at the same time, frantic about the fact that I am slowly running out of time...... okay...cruising through time. At least, I will have lesser regrets than most people because I am now doing what I consider my passion.....one of my passions, which most people don't quite seem to end up doing. I am glad that I took no time to think twice about committing to a job that has lead me to a better job in the same field but this whole process also has given me a path to finding my wants, needs and lead me to discover things I might not have been open to exploring... or maybe I still would have been. For a while, I have been feeling disconnected from myself, creatively and in a personal sense too, but today, today was a good day.
I just want to tell the old me that I love her and that I appreciate having made decisions that she did make.
Meg, you were a great kid, you are a good kid now too. Do not lose yourself to change, well, change that is superficial. Let the new adventures change you for the better, after all, when people say 'change', it only means to me that a person has only accumulated new experiences while his/her old self remains inside and nothing can change that, they can't really lose that part of themselves.
You are a bundle of layers. Layers of your past, present and canvas to be painted with a glorious future that is on its way.
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